The Son of Pseudo Gods
by Dreaming of a Black Fox
Summary: [AU] [yaoi, mpreg] Uchiha Obito was reborn into his original infant body, and finally found out who his parents are. And then shit hit the fan.
1. Death Shall Knock

**Warnings: SasuNaru mpreg, reincarnated Obito, time travel, slight godlike!Naruto and Sasuke, stronger!smarter!Obito, slightly suggestive themes here and there in the beginning, a little bit of character death, a year or two-older Minato and Kushina (they're sixteen instead of twelve), and AU. Don't like mpreg or yaoi? Don't worry. It's only for the first chapter.**

 **I'm not the best at romance; it's something I avoid because reasons. The only pairing will be SasuNaru and MinaKushi. That's it. Might do ObiKakaObi…most likely not, since I am absolutely terrible at developing relationships. I like da feels and I can make them (I just don't post them because more reasons), but I can't create the development of the feels for the life of me. True story, bro.**

 **Anyways, inspiration! Yay! This was inspired by Three Words by Heart of PureSilver, Comatose by kitsunelover300 and Ricochet by Strix 4. Recommended song: Out Of My Mind by Holly Drummond (Cross Them Out Remix).**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 _Prologue: Death Shall Knock_

* * *

"Man…pregnancy is so _harsh_ …" A light thud echoed as Uzumaki Naruto's forehead hit the table of his and his husbands apartment. "My butt hurts just _sitting_ …" He poked his swollen and very pregnant stomach. "You're annoying, you little rat."

Uchiha Sasuke grunted. "Not my fault you're a hermaphrodite."

"It's your fault for exploring the possibilities of a hermaphrodite becoming pregnant dattebayo," Naruto shot back. He scrunched up his nose, looking up at Sasuke with a moody expression. "And the due date is an entire month away dattebayo! I can't take this shit anymore…"

"…Are you hungry?" the Uchiha questioned after a thoughtful expression appeared on his face.

Instantly, the blonde's face brightened. "Yes! Six bowls of ramen— _ASAP_! I'm hungry, and so is baby! C'mon! Chop chop! I'm not gonna sit on my ass and wait for you!"

Sasuke grumbled something about blondes and ramen, but let it go; when Naruto wanted something, he learned over the past nine or so months, he got it. Regardless. Personally he found it to be infuriating to be ordered around like a slave, but another part of him just couldn't…handle…the cuteness Naruto emitted when he got angry over something as small as why his hair was so bright, even though he knew that it was his genes from his father. He had tendencies to get aroused by it.

 _Besides, stupidity knew no bounds…_ Sasuke thought, _but then again, Naruto could've been bored…_

Fifteen minutes later, ten bowls were stacked in two groups on the counter next to a steaming pot of freshly homemade ramen. Naruto was chanting, Sasuke was slightly annoyed and the baby kicked more than once, which made the Uzumaki complain loudly about how his bladder was gonna break at the rate the child was kicking. And then he blamed Sasuke for the "infuriating acts of sexual intercourse with my well-being".

"Well it's not particularly _my_ fault that I'm so good in bed…" Sasuke said.

"You just _completely_ changed the point of this conversation," Naruto dead panned. He rubbed his stomach, mouth watering as Sasuke dished the apparent dinner up. "I really hope that this child _here_ ," he poked his stomach, "doesn't inherit your annoying antics."

Sasuke turned, three bowls in each hand. He raised a brow. " _I'm_ the annoying one?"

"Aren't we all?" Naruto shot back, rolling his eyes and putting his hands up in the air with a look that just said "no shit, genius". "Besides…" his voice trailed off for a second, his bright blue eyes staring at nothing before he blinked back. He blinked again, "…Forgot what I was saying."

The Uchiha coughed out something akin to a laugh, but proceeded to set the six bowls of ramen on the table, taking one for himself while five others remained in front of Naruto. "Well, anyways, speaking of due dates…" Sasuke started slowly, a small smile forming on his face as he pulled his chop sticks apart, "…where do you wanna birth her?"

" _Him_ ," Naruto corrected adamantly. Neither of them knew the gender: They wanted it to be a surprise to at least enjoy what they have in spite of the war raging on outside of the walls. Taxes were ridiculous, and it was a wonder that they were still in a decent sized two-room apartment, even if they were ninja. "And I want a home birth. Do you think you'll be able to help?"

Sasuke paled dramatically, making Naruto laugh loudly.

"I'm joking! I'm joking…" he said as he wiped the tears of laughter away. He split his chopsticks apart, practically breathing his first bowl of ramen before he spoke again. "I can do it myself…besides, Kurama will be able to do something, if not at least support my organs for the time being…"

Worry crossed the Uchiha's face as he chewed on ramen, completely clueless as to what Naruto was indirectly pointing out. "Yourself? Are you sure? That's probably the worst idea I've _ever_ heard. Where'd you get that from, hmm?"

"I know exactly what I'm doing."

"That's _exactly_ what you said ten months ago," Sasuke shot back smugly.

"What _ever_! But…really, I do know what I'm doing." Naruto breathed in another bowl of ramen, still surprising Sasuke even though he had seen it happen so, so many times. "I've read books, learned from Katsu-chan, and _stuff_. So I _know_ what I'm doing."

Sasuke blinked. "Well this is new." He smirked his signature Uchiha smirk. " _You_ —Uzumaki Naruto, dead last and idiot—reading books?"

Said Uzumaki glared, his face blazing a burning red with annoyance and anger towards the playful tease. "Shut up, you stupid bastard! I can read!"

"Hn."

"Don't even _go_ there."

Sasuke smiled again, slurping up some more ramen noodles. Naruto, on the other hand, breathed in the entire pot, drinking the soup and chomping down on miso pork. But the Uchiha suddenly remembered something in the middle of the entire ordeal: "Shit—"

"Baby is listening," Naruto cut in abruptly as he wiped his mouth clean of soup with his sleeve.

"Right. Crap," Sasuke grumbled. "Whatever. I just remembered something…"

The blonde blinked. "What's up?"

"Hokage-sama gave me a mission that would extend over to February…"

The Uzumaki glared. "What? Why? I thought he knew, 'ttebayo!"

Sasuke shook his head. "No…it's best to keep it all a secret. Even if Hiruzen is a well-trusted man, he doesn't personally know us…not right now. To him, I'm just a gay outside Uchiha with a husband, with hopes of raising a child by the end of this god damned war."

Naruto frowned, his skin creasing harshly. "Bullshit. This war ended on the sixth of February, and the Third War is supposed to start on the twelfth of June…or something."

"First off…it's supposed to start on the seventeenth of July." Sasuke showed off a frown of his own. "…And second of all, I _could_ be going on the mission to stop the war."

The pregnant whisker-marked jinchūriki cringed, his frown turning into a grim expression. "Didn't… _everyone_ …die on that mission?"

A heavy silence fell for many minutes until Naruto winced from the punch he felt from right under his left lung, where he knew his to-be baby boy's upper body was at. He looked grim again, speaking to break the disturbing silence between the two, "Well, you have half of jij's power…I'm hoping this time around, things will be different."

Sasuke sighed heavily, a slight and barely noticeable pout forming on his face. If it wasn't for the fact that Naruto knew the Uchiha inside and out, he most likely would've missed it. The Uchiha looked out the window next to the dining room table, glaring irritably down at the people below who already seemed to cringe, wince, twitch or find the urge to run underneath the optical practical death threat. "Yeah…but… _it's_ weird. Just…the entire situation is _weird_."

"How so?" Naruto asked, intent on listening to his lovers potential rant.

Sasuke paused thoughtfully, his glare turning into an unreadable Uchiha expression that Naruto both loved and envied. Silence reigned supreme once again, dominating breathing and movement as the Uzumaki waited for a response. He released a breath of air he hadn't realized he was holding when Sasuke sighed, turning his head to make eye contact with bright blue and curious eyes.

He frowned. "I just feel like something's gonna happen…it won't be bad, but it won't be _good_ , either. It's…neutral. You know?"

Naruto blinked, simply nodding with a thoughtful look. He stood slowly, stretching out his aching back. He sighed. "Well. Isn't that eventful." He turned his head to Sasuke, "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," was the simple and empty-sounding—but annoyed—response.

The Uzumaki blinked in surprise, gaping like a fish. " _Tomorrow_? That's…that's r _idiculous_!"

"I know, I know…" he looked out the window grimly again, leaving words hanging with a sprinkle of suspense.

Naruto frowned, waddling like a duck towards his husband, which seemed to ruin the moment. But the blonde ignored it; Sasuke's lips twitched up, though.

"Quack, quack," he teased with an amused expression.

The blonde stared, smacking the back of the Uchiha's head out of annoyance of the tease. He then reached for Sasuke's hand, grabbing it and gently tugging. "Just shut up and take a nap with me, Rīsentosutaira-hiko. I want to at least spend that much time with you before you leave…or…whatever. Just get your ass in the bed, or else your ass will be bruised as I smack it with a spoon as punishment when you get back."

Sasuke simply smiled, following Naruto towards their bedroom with a much more lax and amused expression. He would never get used to Naruto's waddling.

* * *

 _One month later…_

* * *

Naruto rubbed his stomach again, staring outside towards the busy world of Konoha. He frowned.

He felt nervous; today was the day the child would be due—the time he would see his baby. He felt pains every now and then, but it had been happening for a while; it was just spread out through the entire three or so months of his pregnancy. He knew what it was: Practice labours. He didn't know why his body did it. It just happened…even if he was part male, it seemed.

Katsu, his nurse over the course of the pregnancy and the third person who knew of his secret, was adamant on helping him. But he refused. He knew that, despite the efforts of restraint, Kurama's chakra would lash out due to instinct and desperation of survival. He knew this, because it happened during his birth; the only difference was Kushina had a seal. He didn't.

He didn't particularly like it, either. It was the main reason why he avoided having a midwife, even if they were strong. A bijū was still too much for them, no matter what.

Naruto winced heavily when he felt a light but but noticeable contraction. It was much harsher this time. He grounded his teeth together, his forehead leaning on the table as he rubbed his stomach. He stared down at his bulged gut with a childish glare. "Get out of me, will ya? I know it's comfortable, but god _damn_ , get out. Now. I gotta see your face. And then smother it with kisses 'cause of how cute I _know_ you'd look."

A kick was his response, followed by another contraction that made Naruto wince heavily again. "Yeah. Ow. Don't, dattebayo."

Another heavy pain rushed through his abdomen a minute after sitting in silence and staring at his stomach. This time, however, it made him grunt painfully. He cringed, not hesitating to quickly stand as fast as his joints could make him go, dealing with the following contraction that actually made him shout; next thing he knew, his pants were wet.

His water had _finally broken_.

 _Time for hell, eh?_ Naruto thought grimly. He rushed faster towards his room, where he had set everything up for the birthing process. He—knowing a thing or two about fūinjutsu—had put up silencing and chakra oppression seals. Both were actually there already because of…reasons, but they were always helpful. Especially now.

He had to strengthen them with Kurama's chakra because they had considerably weakened over the year or two he and Sasuke had lived in the apartment they owned. Plus…noise, and more reasons—

"Ouch! Son of a _bitch_!" Naruto shouted as he finally entered his room. "That one hurt like hell…"

He was already breathless. _This is ridiculous…_

 _You'll have to get used to it._ Kurama interrupted. _You're about to go through hours of shit._

 _Shut your mouth, you stupid fur ball._ Naruto hissed back as he held his stomach. He shouted again when he felt another labour hit him with the rage of Mother Nature. _You're able to help, right?_

 _…I don't know._ Kurama replied doubtfully. _But…my chakra is still tainted. It'll burn the kid if I help._

 _God dammit._ He shouted again, flopping onto his bed. He stripped, leaving on his yukata he kept over his pants that were now wet. His hands pressed against his stomach, sweat already forming lightly on his brow. "Fuck! This…this hurts."

Another contraction that was weaker compared to the others followed closely, but it still hurt. A lot.

He dealt with light or slightly rougher contractions for about thirty minutes before the really intense ones came: It hurt worse than the Chidori Sasuke shoved into his chest when he was thirteen.

He screamed painfully when it hit, already feeling Kurama's chakra flaring wildly within his coils, healing organs that were most likely failing already due to the inevitable pressure of his female pieces. But he knew that the fox couldn't keep it up for eternity, the baby was fragile and had to not be touched by the chakra, or even be near it, which was harder than it looked.

Another few screams escaped his throat when he felt yet again another few painful contractions. He gripped the sheet, his nails digging into the cloth like it was the end of the world. It was hurting _so damn much_ …he didn't know what the hell to do other than just scream and rip the sheets apart.

And that's what he did he screamed again and again in response to the new five contractions. The sixth was interrupted.

"Naruto!"

The voice made him pause, as it was Sasuke's. "I-in here—" he croaked, but was interrupted when he felt the inevitable sixth contraction that seemed just a little bit more painful than the rest; he screamed in sync with it like a song…he found that to be an odd comparison…

The Uchiha rushed in to the bedroom, eyes frantic. "Due date! Uh. Um. Shit! Shit—fuck—dammit! Wha-what am I supposed to do?! Am I the midwife here? Fuck! Naruto!"

Naruto would've laughed at his husbands freak out if it wasn't for the fact that he was in the process of birthing a child. "Just get your ass over here!"

Sasuke didn't hesitate to run to Naruto's side. The Uzumaki instantly grabbed his hand with a bone-breaking grip. The Uchiha cringed, but didn't say anything else. He just winced at the loud shout, encouraging the blonde with as much moral support as he could muster the entire two hours—which, to Naruto's side-converse quarter, found that to be a lot of moral support. Surprises, surprises, he silently mused.

Of course, his muse was quickly forgotten when he felt another pain thrice times stronger than the last many contractions he had been going through in the past two and half hours. It happened many times, and he pushed out the newborn with as much strength as he could muster. But he could already feel his body faltering underneath the pain and sweat and pricking tears of sadness; he knew he was going to die, no matter what.

A man, whether or not he has certain female organs to support pregnancy, could _never_ survive birth. Katsu had made that _very_ clear.

But all pain was forgotten when a loud cry echoed in the room, sharply cutting through the air. Sasuke quickly let go of Naruto's sweaty—and surprisingly soft—hand, finding a child on a blanket right where he expected…him to be. He blinked dumbly for a second, before another sharp wail cut into his dumbfounded moment. He wrapped the child in the blanket, staring with wide eyes.

"Sasuke…stop staring…" Naruto panted tiredly from his spot as he relaxed his legs and entire body, ignoring the pain that still lingered.

The Uchiha gave a sheepish look, walking around to the other side of the bed. He sat down, lying down across from Naruto. The child was set down in between them, Naruto staring with exhausted and happy eyes, while Sasuke just stared dumbly, but still fondly.

It stayed like that for a long while, but it was broken as Naruto stroked the child's face as he rolled on his side, noting the thin—but noticeable—layer of black hair on top of his head. A weak smile spread across his lips. "It's a boy…I told you so…"

Sasuke looked at Naruto, as he discovered that when he first saw the newborn boy before the blanket covered him up. "What makes you say that?"

"Boys have a thinner head of hair when born…" Naruto murmured. He laughed quietly, his throat croaking heavily. He was rather pale, and the way the light in his eyes was leaving scared Sasuke. Another fond smile formed on his lips.

"…He reminds me of Obito…" he murmured quietly and almost sadly, the child quieting to listen to the fond voice he had grown accustomed to over the months within the womb. His lips brushed again the temple of the boy. "…He doesn't exist yet…I think that should be his name…Uchiha Obito…"

Sasuke nodded, staring at the child. "…Yeah. Sure. Obito…knowing genes, he might as well have your brash and bright attitude…"

Naruto smiled and nodded again, slowly and weakly. He sighed tiredly, pulling Obito closer to himself as he closed his eyes. "…Give him a good life…" he said quietly. "He deserves it…"

Sasuke's eyes widened the moment those words were said. _Last words_. The one thing he didn't need: _Last words_. And from the only other person he truly loved. He had already heard last words from his captain on the mission—who was the most unlikeliest person he ever thought he would work under.

But to hear it from Naruto was…infuriating. "What…"

Naruto smiled pathetically—but sadly, whispering a quiet "I love you two" before his breathing slowed to a stop, and his heart abruptly stopping.

To say the least, it'd most likely be the last time Sasuke would ever cry so loudly in a very, _very_ long time.

On the other hand, the newly founded Uchiha Obito had no idea what to think as to what he had just witnessed. And that was saying something.

* * *

 **"Rīsentosutaira-hiko": "Prince Ducktail"**

 **Mpreg yaoi, time travel, and reincarnation. Kaboom. You're welcome, fan girls. And maybe boys here and there.**

 **So, yeah, rough for Sasuke and Obito. But it was inevitable. You'd have to be 100% female to properly birth a child. Men were not exactly built for the pressure of labor…**

 **Preview:**

"I can't exactly take care of him as of now," Minato read aloud to Kushina, "please take care of him. Just for a few months. Signed Uchiha Obito's father…" He blinked dumbly. "…What."

"I didn't sign up for this, dattebane!"

"Neither did I!"

 _I didn't either._

 **Peace! :3**


	2. Mommy & Daddy

**TammyHybrid21: I have learned that romantic RP helps with learning about the development of relationships. Lol, credit goes to my IRL/RP BFF XD He is, but he's more confused about who his mom is, because Sasuke and Naruto never really kept any pictures (they made replicas of the Shodai's necklace instead). And he does have the same birthday! Lol. And I know, I'm sorry. I'm planning on rewriting/revising that part, unless I make things more feeliez to just add Owie Icing to the Hurt Cake. Timeline is confusing, but I'm just gonna stick with my theory that they were thirteen/twelve…makes things slightly easier for me in some aspect. Thanks for your review :3**

 **Akirakun17: *gives you a bandaid* s'okay ;-; Thanks for your review :3**

 **Guest: I like the story idea, too, lol. People just don't do their homework, I guess. I mean, the chance of a male hermaphordite becoming pregnant is one in a million, because the female parts are either active or inactive. Naruto, in the story, is half female half male; he has the hip bone of a female, a uterus and an opening. He has a cervical (mucus) plug and external os, along with a female urinary bladder. The female eggs in his uterus was always weak, so logically him being pregnant was…well, y'know. A small chance. And no. He won't. Not within the ra** **nge of recently, at least. Am now done with my rant ^_^ Thanks for your review :3**

 **Yukina T: Lol, thanks for your review :3**

 **Recommended songs: Heaven's Lullaby by BigRicePiano (on YouTube) (or anything else piano-oriented).**

 **Original word count: 3.1k~**

 **Enjoy my _ :p**

* * *

 _Chapter 1: Mommy & Daddy_

* * *

The scroll still remained where it was: Rolled out and freshly painted on. Sasuke made it to seal Naruto's body away, as they had both agreed to seal one another's body away if either of them died. He honestly thought that it wouldn't happen, he made a vow to himself to keep Naruto alive and well after the dense perverted moron knocked some sense into his messed up Uchiha self.

He sighed when he heard Obito's soft and muffled cry. He was still on the bed, in the exact same spot…Sasuke spent an entire three hours just…crying, and then when he felt exhaustion creeping up on him—and when Obito seemed to have gotten fed up with being sandwiched in between Naruto's body and an angst-Sasuke—he sealed away Naruto's body as a way of preservation and burial.

He knew that Obito would be rather hungry by now. He did some research of his own whilst he had free time before the events of the tenth of February. So he wasn't all that clueless when it came to parenting and taking care of a newborn. But still. A child needed a mother at one point, whether they be male or female.

Another sigh later, and Sasuke was on his feet. He walked up to the side of the bed, scooping Obito up gently. He let the newborns chin rest on his shoulder. He glanced at the blanket; it was covered in goop. He cringed, his stomach lurching slightly as he turned around to get a newer baby blanket. He took it, draping it over Obito's back and walking out of the room into the kitchen.

The Uchiha created the bottle, heated it up and squirted some of the formula milk onto his hand. It was decently warm. He moved the chair so his back faced the window. He sat down, and started feeding the newborn.

But not even three minutes later, a knock on the door cut into the silent apartment. "It's open," Sasuke called quietly.

The door knob turned, and a woman with black hair in a sloppy braid stepped into the dining room, exiting the hallway. It was Hatake Katsu, the soon-to-be family doctor and paediatric teacher to the newly minted parent. Not to mention, Sakumo's younger half sister.

She wore the attire of a shinobi, subtracting the zori. She had shinobi pants, a shinobi jōnin shirt that all the chūnin and jōnin wore. The only difference was she didn't have the vest, and her headband was wrapped around her right wrist. She frowned, her dark eyes narrowing. "Where's the body at?"

Sasuke winced. "And hello to you to, Katsu."

She sighed, pulling herself up to a chair. She rubbed her gloved hands over her face. "Yes, hello. I'm sorry, Sasuke…" she muttered. "It's just harsh…the way he accepted the way he went out…"

A frown furrowed the Uchiha's brow, as did Obito's face scrunch up. A whine escaped his throat, and instantly Sasuke sat the child up to burp him. "You knew?" A grim nod was all he needed to instigate the activation of his "don't fuck with me" glare and Sharingan, making Katsu wince under the stare. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Hostility will scare the baby," Katsu murmured, her face looking ten years older than she already was. "And you can blame your idiot of a husband. He wanted to keep it a secret."

A moment later, just as the Hatake ninja predicted, Obito cried loudly as he sensed the hostility and uneasiness concerning his dead male mother. Sasuke sighed, cooing quietly and calming the child down. He wrapped Obito up in the blanket afterwords, holding the newborn in a comfortable position to let him sleep. He deactivated his Sharingan, looking back at Katsu—who had a fond expression. He frowned. "What?"

"I can tell," she said, "that you'll be a good father."

He paused, looking at the already-sleeping child in his arms. His expression saddened. "I don't think so…"

"And what makes you say that?" Katsu questioned.

"I'm a shinobi," Sasuke pointed out. "That should tell you more than enough."

"Any go-to people?"

"I…" His voice trailed off. There were many, indeed. But they were civilian, and he didn't really want civilians to raise his kid, not to discriminate or anything. He wanted a shinobi, or a veteran shinobi of some sort who was willing to raise a baby. Katsu was too busy, Sakumo had his own problems and…well, Minato and Kushina didn't have any problems. But they were strangers to him. However, they were Obito's grandparents; so why not? "I do, actually. But I've only met them once. They're related to Naruto in some way, I'm not sure…but they're very trustworthy."

"Any upcoming missions…?" she asked slowly, almost grimly.

A smile spread across the Uchiha's face, which creeped Katsu out, because according to Naruto, upon her many visits and bonding moments with him, he never smiled like he was as of then unless he had a big asset or plan up his sleeve—or anything devilish.

He replied with a simple, "Yes, lots," before indirectly chasing Katsu off with a glare and weird excuse by normal peoples standards.

* * *

 _Five months later…_

* * *

Sasuke sighed.

The big day—the "Take Obito to Minato and Kushina" day.

Mission Do Something Productive.

He would come back eventually—he just had to do something first and foremost. It wasn't exactly the greatest decision for Obito, but in the long run, it would do _something_. The child was five months old, on the verge of six. The summer had been boiling hot as expected, and it annoyed both man and child to no end. Sasuke wasn't exactly used to the heat, and in the time of Naruto's pregnancy, he was mainly out on missions doing war-related stuff like the good little solider he was.

His eyes narrowed down at the piece of paper that held the note he was going to give to Minato and Kushina: _"Ore wa makaseru nanji no yatsume"_ —"I trust you with the guy". He also gave Obito the necklace Naruto once wore—the Hokage's necklace. Or at least, a model of what it was. It had been destroyed by Kurama during Pain's attack, and for the sake of memories, they had made three copies of it, only it had their chakra in it, and not the Shodai's. Naruto had one, Sasuke has his and now Obito had his own.

So, yes, a small chunk of Naruto remained. Well, aside from the Kyūbi and Obito, of course.

He shifted the child in his arms, holding Obito with his arm wrapped around the five month olds stomach, and the five month old's back pressed against Sasuke's side. He grabbed the note, newly found determination rushing back into his veins. He sloppily folded the note, grabbing the baby bag for Obito—and a few other supplies, just stuffing them in said baby bag. He shifted the child in his arms again, having it so the boys face rested on the crane of his neck. He turned towards the window, carefully jumping out of the window in a blur.

The currently off-of-duty ANBU knew where to find his guardians. They both just so happened to be on the same long-term border patrol mission for six months, and they had arrived back a week ago.

Now Hiruzen was giving them a three month-long break. And then a small village leader gave him a long-term mission to keep Iwa and Kumo off their turf. It was predicted to last him five years, but he knew better. He had something else to do, and he wouldn't be back for a decade.

At _least_.

It made him frown sadly. He wouldn't be able to do very much about Team Minato's future. Well, unless he cut off a year to change things. But then he'd be gone again.

 _Troublesome_ , he thought bitterly. He heard Obito start to whine underneath the wind and the uncomfortable material of his ANBU outfit. He quickly calmed the child down, putting a blanket over his back and reaching all the way to the outskirts of the eastern section of Konoha, bordering the south where Minato and Kushina lived.

The house was already in view, and for a second, Sasuke felt the need to cry. But he quickly pushed it away. He looked around, noting that there were few people on the streets, and only one shinobi every quarter mile traveling to personal destination. He sighed, patting down Obito's hair and leaping onto a roof. He narrowed his eyes, seeing Minato's house not too far away from himself.

Sucking in a deep breath, he kissed Obito's crown and hid his chakra signature. He jumped down, sneaking past the window and putting the child on the doorstep. A baby bag followed, and pretty soon, he found himself staring at the childish face that vaguely reminded himself of Naruto—which was odd, because the newborn gained more traits from him than anything, whisker marks and spiked hair included. He sighed—again—and kissed Obito's forehead before knocking on the door and quickly retreating.

From a distance, he watched reluctantly as Kushina's head popped out, her face full of panic when she noticed Obito. Sasuke smiled softly, before turning and jumping away with so much unease and grief, that he felt the need to vomit out his heart.

* * *

Minato blinked, turning his head towards the door when he heard a knock on the door. He stopped chewing, looking at the clock and Kushina. She looked at the clock as well. "It's almost midnight," she said. "Who the hell knocks at _midnight_?"

"Could be…Jiraiya-sensei…?" he guessed flimsily, but he felt no chakra signature. "…Okay, never mind…"

Kushina rolled her eyes, and walked through the living room towards the door. She opened it up, but found no one.

And then they heard the baby coos.

Both shinobi froze and stared down at the bundle of blankets babbling in baby talk. It had black hair, pale skin and three cat-like whisker marks on each of its cheeks. Kushina's eyes widened. "Who the hell leaves a _baby_ with _strangers_ dattebane?!"

Minato didn't respond. He was still processing having a baby at his doorstep. He snapped out of his daze when Kushina picked him up, putting the child in her arms along with the bag. He blinked. "What are you doing?" he asked. "It could be a trap for all we know!"

"Oh shut it," she snapped, sitting on the couch. She put him down on his back next to her on the cushion, pulling out a note that was tucked into the blanket. Her brow ticked as she scanned it. "Minato."

He turned his head towards her.

"This…this _brat_ right here," she gestured to the child, "this _brat_ …has just been dumped on us."

The blonde blinked, standing up and walking towards the couch. He took the note, and read it out loud, "I trust you with the guy. The necklace will tell me that he is my son, Obito, when I return." His paled dramatically. "I didn't sign up for this…"

"Neither of us did, dattebane!"

The baby babbled, squirming his arms out of the swaddle and managing to grab Kushina's hair. The Uzumaki didn't take it away, though she sighed.

"Why the long face?" he asked.

"Well…" she mumbled, "…I know you're probably gonna want to give him up to the orphanage, but I think we should keep him."

Minato blinked. "Why? We aren't ready to be parents."

"I know, but _still_ dattebane! His parent chose _us_!" she pointed out with a big toothy smile. "Deemed _us_ worthy enough to raise a child, despite our age and status as shinobi."

The blonde blinked, his face twisting into an expression of contemplation. _She has a point…_

Kushina grinned. "I know that face," she said. "Alright, it's officially decided dattebane! We're gonna be parents!"

Minato looked dumbfounded. "What?"

He didn't get an answer. He was dragged out of the house along with their new apparent member.

* * *

 _Hiruzen sighed, rubbing his eyes. He glanced up at the ANBU who stood before him—Hachidori was his code name. His mask was a little bit brighter and colorful, a sign among the shinobi that he was a powerful, high-ranking ANBU. It somewhat resembled an ANBU bird mask, only the beak was smaller, and the design was bright green, blue, red and orange. "So Yajū is dead," he murmured._

 _Yajū was Hachidori's lover, and was the ANBU Commander until he took Taka under his wing to replace him about a year ago. Both have been in the ANBU for a good four years, Yajū retiring because of an internal wound that Hatake Katsu had concluded to be completely incapable of healing all the way. Yajū's real name was Naruto—_ Uzumaki _Naruto. The blonde didn't want Kushina to know of his presence, though. Reasons were unclear._

 _The Sandaime straightened up when Hachidori nodded silently. He frowned sadly. "My sympathies," he said humbly. He paused thoughtfully, a thought stabbing him in the side and making his frown deepen. "You adopted recently, correct?"_

 _"Yes, we did," Hachidori said. He sighed. "I take it the long term mission you're assigning me is going to hurt my son more than me." He didn't bother to question it; village goes first._

 _"It is," Hiruzen replied. "I'm sorry, but it's vital."_

 _"It's understandable," the ANBU Captain grumbled. He sighed, putting his hand on his hip as he put most of his weight on his left foot. "It doesn't have to be done instantly, right?"_

 _"The client wants it to happen before the year is up," the Sarutobi stated. He nodded to himself. "So, yes. You do have time. I take it you want to spend a few months with your kid before you leave, no?"_

 _Hachidori nodded. "I do. I'm staying with Obito for the first five or six months before I leave."_ And be gone for a decade… _he added bitterly. "Do I have your permission, sir?"_

 _Hiruzen smiled, silently noting the name. "Permission granted," he said. "Do you have guardians in mind?"_

 _"I do." The captain nodded. "Naruto picked Kushina and Minato-san."_

 _The Sarutobi chuckled. "Figures," he said. "He chose good."_

 _Hachidori nodded his agreement again._

 _"You are dismissed."_

 _Then the captain was gone._

"Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen broke out of the memory, silently realizing that he was smiling. He glanced at the door, seeing his secretary's head poking into the office. "Yes…?" he drawled.

"Minato-san and Uzumaki-sama are here to see you," he said.

His smile widened. _Well, it's been five months…_ he thought. "Let them in," he said.

The other man nodded, stepping away for a minute before the door opened again, Kushina and Minato walking in with Kushina carrying a baby with messy black hair and black eyes, whisker marks carved into his cheeks like natural tattoos. Minato was being dragged by Kushina, who had a big smile on her face.

"I'm guessing you want to take a maternal leave, Kushina-chan, no?" Hiruzen guessed.

Her grin widened, the presumed Obito cooing as he gave himself a knuckle sandwich. "Yup dattebane!"

Minato looked miserable at her enthusiasm, but he smiled brightly in spite of it.

He chuckled, pulling open a file drawer and pulling out a piece of paper. He put it on the desk, Kushina taking it and looking it over briefly. "Read the fine print, and sign it," he said lightly with an amused glint in his eyes.

Kushina took the paper a read it through, backing it away from her face as Obito tried to grab it with a slobbery uncoordinated hand. A few minutes later, she gave it to Minato, who grabbed a pen and signed it before handing it back to Hiruzen.

"Do you want an extra copy?" the Sandaime asked.

"No thanks."

"Yes. Please. For the love of all children, _please_."

Kushina rolled her eyes at Minato's exaggeration. Hiruzen chuckled, pulling out another paper and handing it to the blonde. The duo bowed before turning and taking their leave, Kushina babbling on about ramen and Minato sighing.

Hiruzen smiled. _Tajū chose well, indeed._

* * *

Obito's eyes were calculating.

They have been for the five or so months he's been in the world. They just returned to innocence when people looked at him. The world was murky—so was his mind. Memories were jumbled up and happened non-chronically when remembered. He remembered dying saving Naruto and Kakashi from Kaguya, saying last words before turning to ash.

And then he woke up in a certain ball of warmth. Everything was eerily silent for a little while—a month, if his internal clock was correct—before muffled sounds echoed in his ears. The ones he heard the most were two men, with the woman coming weekly and one of the men leaving for a few days before returning.

He wasn't sure what was going on, so he tried to move many times. He could only move his arms and legs though. Each time he attempted a kick or punch, he would hear a protest and a soft poke. Sometimes a hand would press against the surface of the ball, eerily familiar laughter and conversing always following.

Often, when the man who was with him twenty-four-seven was alone, he'd sing. The lyrics were muffled, but he liked the melody. He found himself silently humming the tune in his head when he was put down for a nap for the first time after he was forced out of the ball of warmth.

He wondered why that happened; he never really understood anything. His body had instinctively cried, but it had only lasted for a few seconds. He had felt arms and blankets wrap around him briefly before he was handed over to another pair of arms.

The two men conversed briefly, the world descending into a comfortable silence for a few seconds. But then the voice he had hear for so long spoke, but it blocked out and muffled, but he had barely made out the words: _"Give him a good life…he deserves it…I love you two."_

The man who had been holding him stopped breathing and died, if the agonizing crying told him anything. It didn't stop for a good two hours before he felt hungry—so he whimpered a little, seeing as it was the only way he could communicate.

The next few months were just as confusing.

He saw grey and blobs of colors the first time he opened his eyes. And then after three or four months, he started seeing all of the basic colors along with everything in between. His hearing improved, becoming sharp along with his sight.

Soon enough, he learned that he was a baby. The way he was treated, what he was eating and the environment supported his theory even further.

 _How_ was a question definitely needing answers.

 _Why_ was just as mysterious.

However, seeing Sasuke's face was something that confused him even further.

He looked at the calendar at one point.

The Second War closed to an end, around the time he was born on the tenth of February was when it stopped.

Sasuke wasn't supposed to be born for another fifteen or so years.

 _So why is he here…?_

* * *

 **"Katsu": "Victorious"; "Winner"**

 **"Tajū": "Beast"; "Animal"**

 **"Hachidori": "Hummingbird"**

 **I posted a panel of a future chapter on my deviant account (pen name: Toudan-no-Hyoushi). It holds no spoilers, though.**

 **Preview:**

 _Blood. It was_ everywhere _…_

 **Peace! :3**


	3. Fields, Fans & Jokers

**TammyHybrid21: Yup, Uchiha drama XD Yes, Katsu has black hair…but that's because she's half Hatake. Who she is actually related to holds little relevance to the plot itself, but I'd like to think it's still a twist. Lol Sasuke won't die if that's what you're thinking…really, it should be Obito and Kakashi you should worry about more. Yup ^.^ Obito acted like Madara and Tobi for a number of months/years, so him acting like a child really wouldn't be too hard. He jukes everybody's ass like a boss for quite a long time. Thanks for your review :3**

 **I probably should've put the "multi-time traveler" warning on chapter one, but I got lazy. So other than Naruto, Kurama, Obito and Sasuke, five or six other people have joined on the journey. Two of them show up in this chapter ^.^**

 **Original word count: 4.7k~**

 **Recommended song: Not Alone by Park Jun Min (Instrumental version).**

 **Enjoy my balconies (lol) :p**

* * *

 _Chapter 2: Fields, Fans & Jokers_

* * *

Hiruzen opened up the door of the apartment, walking down the hallway. He reached the dining room, and saw Katsu right where he expected her to be: Sitting at the dining room table right next to a window. The dark haired woman looked at him and smiled her greeting. "Hokage-sama."

"Katsu-chan," he greeted back. He sat down on the chair across from her, looking at her with a smile. "How are you?"

"Good," she murmured. Her finger traced the cup of teas rim, her eyes downcast. "Still kind of bummed out about Naruto…I've known him for quite a while."

Hiruzen nodded. So has he. The blonde, along with Sasuke, had such an odd story.

Sasuke was lost at birth, his records and parents were unknown and he lived in Uzushio until it was destroyed. He ran in to Naruto while escaping, and they've been together since the days of being thirteen.

That was twenty-one years ago.

When they arrived to Konoha, they were seventeen; it had been five years after Uzushio's destruction. They became shinobi, starting out as chūnin. Not too long after, the Second War started and they gained field promotions. Only four years ago did they become ANBU. Naruto retired a year ago from an internal wound, and recently he died of organ failure because of said internal wound.

But they were both powerful—formidable and to be greatly feared. Dying at the age of thirty-five was pretty solid, considering they were shinobi. Sasuke was likely to live longer, too.

The Sarutobi pulled himself out of his muse and nodded again. "As am I," he agreed. "He was good."

"Yeah…" Katsu mumbled. The woman was nineteen; she had known Naruto half of her life, if the Sandaime was correct. She looked up again. "Anyways, I should probably get to the point as to why we're here."

He hummed thoughtfully, "Does it have to do with Obito?"

"It does," she replied. "Obito's full name is Uchiha Uzumaki Obito…his biological parents are Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke."

Hiruzen stared at her. "Two males can not have a biological child," he pointed out, obviously demanding an explanation.

"Only if one of them is literally half female," Katsu stated pointedly. "Naruto was a hermaphrodite. He had the hip bone of a female, a uterus and a female opening. He has a cervical mucus plug and external os, along with a female urinary bladder. But even then, the organs in his abdominal region had to be moved out of the way. His kidney's were failing towards the last few months of his pregnancy, so even if he survived he'd very likely die very soon after."

Hiruzen blinked. "So what you're saying is that he died of childbirth and not organ failure," he concluded.

She shook her head. "No," she murmured. "He died of organ failure, but what lead to it was childbirth."

The Sarutobi leaned back, taking a moment to soak in what she had just said. It did explain Naruto's past girly antics. He was snappy, moody and at some point of every month the moods shifted like crazy. Sasuke had told him a story where Naruto had been mad enough at him to throw a burning ball of paper. After the almost-fire happened and was put out, the blonde had asked— _demanded_ —if they could go to Ichiraku's.

He also walked a bit like a girl. He swung his hips slightly and sometimes even crossed his legs whilst strolling through the village with Sarutobi and Sasuke. His hips were shaped like a woman's, too, as pointed out by a female ANBU.

He turned his head back to the female Hatake. "Did he have menstrual cramps by any chance?"

"Once a month, twelve times a year," Katsu replied with a smirk. She giggled. "Poor Sasuke had to deal with his mood swings for over twenty years!"

Hiruzen chuckled in amusement. Biwako still had her monthly periods. They weren't nice. The laughter helped him relax a little bit, and the confusion was somewhat cleared up. Soon, it disappeared, and they started talking again. "Well that explains some things, then," he said. "It's kind of hard to believe, but it's logical."

Katsu smiled again, though it didn't exactly reach her eyes. "Yeah," she agreed.

"Has his body been burned?"

"Sasuke stored him in a scroll and kept it away from all eyes. I don't know the current status."

Hiruzen blinked, pausing thoughtfully before blinking again, his eyes widening slightly as realization dawned. "He's preserving the body."

Katsu blinked as well.

They basked in the suspenseful silence, both thinking one thought: Why preserve a _shinobi's dead body_?

* * *

A full year with uncoordinated limbs would indefinitely irk anyone. Obito scoffed in irritation every time he reached for a cereal bite on the high chairs table, because it'd either fall out of his hands because his fingers wouldn't stay still or his hand just didn't grab it right. But he eventually got the hang of it. At six months old he mastered it.

At seven he learned how to crawl, at eight he stood on his hands and feet, at nine he could easily hold his balance, at ten he could take baby steps with assistance and at eleven he could practically walk flawlessly like a dog.

On the tenth of February, a woman named Hatake Katsu visited. His interest was caught by her, as she was a dark haired Hatake. Rare. Very, _very_ rare. Apparently, she knew his parents. Hell, she was the family nurse.

He was excited. He found a connection to his parents—one that was guaranteed. He quickly rushed to Kushina's side via army crawl towards the door, clinging to the Uzumaki's leg as he stood and looked up at her with big, curious black eyes.

He blinked when he suddenly started feeling small flickers everywhere—a mile out, he could feel a panic flicker as a creature scurried away from a trio of determined flickers. He could feel a flicker on his bedroom window sill, where a bird was most likely pecking at the seed there. He could feel one in Katsu; it was warm and carefree. Same went for Kushina, only deeper down within her flicker was something empty.

She looked down at him and smiled. The flickers disappeared, and he blinked again. "Hello, Obito-chan," she said kindly. "You've certainly grown."

He grinned cheekily, baby teeth flashing white.

Her smile widened. "Last time I saw you, you were an itty bitty one eating from a bottle your father was feeding you," she continued.

His eyes grew wide. He could get a name now. " _Really_?!" he exclaimed loudly.

Kushina looked down at him, her eyes wide as well. "You just said your clear first word dattebane!" she said. She picked him up, the two of them having a mini party as he exclaimed "really" over and over in baby talk.

When they calmed down, Katsu smiled brightly again. "Yes. Really. I do."

Kushina stepped aside. "Then come on in," she said. "Besides, I'd be nice to know why…"

Katsu nodded her understanding. She stepped inside, kicking off her zori and putting them aside. Kushina put Obito down, murmuring something in his ear. He pouted, but started playing with a sock monkey and a fox plush.

Oh, the irony.

The two women sat down at the kitchen table, and started talking.

"So," Kushina started, "who're his biological parents?"

"They are both ANBU unfortunately," Katsu said. "So I can't say their names without Hokage-sama's permission. But I can talk about their heritage and personalities. There are no rules against that."

Kushina chuckled and nodded her agreement.

"Well, his mother was Tajū, and Tajū was the ANBU Commander for a good three years," Katsu explained. "Retired from an internal wound that wouldn't fully heal. It lead to organ failure, which lead to Tajū's cause of death. Died of childbirth and organ failure."

Kushina blinked in surprise. "Three years?"

Katsu nodded.

Obito babbled and continued playing, but internally he was freaked out and…upset. His mother was dead because of him.

"His father's ANBU code name is Hachidori," she continued. "He's the ANBU captain of Team Predator—you know, the Hokage's prime front line team?"

The red haired Uzumaki nodded.

"Well, anyways, he has been captain for about two years…" she said, "and recently he—"

"Died?" Kushina cut in darkly.

Katsu chuckled and shook her head. "No, no. Don't assume," she stated. "He's currently on a long term mission. He most likely won't be back for a few years. A decade is the longest he'll be gone."

Obito wasn't really sure what to think of it. His mother was dead, never to be seen again because his father, who may or may not be Uchiha Sasuke, has absolutely no pictures of her within the walls of Konoha. He was confused beyond measure.

"I should also mention that Hachidori is an outsider Uchiha," Katsu murmured quietly. "So if Obito gains the Sharingan, don't be surprised."

Kushina gaped. "Then why is he with us dattebane?"

"Because Hachidori was kidnapped at birth for his dōjutsu," the dark haired Hatake replied. "He lived in Uzushio until it was destroyed before he met his spouse. Then they came to Konoha a few years later, and have lived here for a good twenty-one years. And besides, even if he went back to the Uchiha Clan, I…don't think he'd like it."

The red head chuckled. "I wouldn't want my child to have a sixty foot pole up his or her ass," she said.

Katsu smiled, leaning back and sighing. They basked in comfortable silence as the kunoichi duo watched Obito continue playing. She signed at Kushina, the Uzumaki nodding her understanding. She stood up. "Time for a nap, dattebane!"

Obito whined and pouted, by complied anyways. He grabbed Kushina's hand, and the two walked slowly into the hall behind the couch. He was put into his bed, covers tucked in and all.

Then Kushina left.

Once her chakra signature ended up in the living room, he army crawled out of bed until he reached the door. He sat up, and pressed his ears against the door.

But then he remembered the silencing seals that were up. They blocked sounds from coming outside. He huffed in annoyance; his tenkutsu wouldn't fully develop until he was three, and even then his chakra would still be rather raw and new. He grumbled something in baby babble, and crawled back into bed with a sulky expression.

* * *

Kushina smiled as she sunk into the kitchen chair again. "So, what do you wish to talk about?" she inquired.

"The necklace he wore when you found him…where is it?" Katsu asked.

"Around his neck," she responded. "We were assuming it was a present from his parents, considering there was a protective seal carved into the metal."

The Hatake smiled and nodded. "Yes, it's a birth present," she stated. "It was also to act as a helping hand if he ever was in deep trouble."

Kushina blinked. "Like a future near-death situation?"

"Somewhere along those lines," she confirmed. "Their chakra is also within that necklace, so make sure it stays stable. Please?"

Kushina blinked again before her expression brightened a considerable amount. She laughed and smiled broadly. "Smart, 'ttebane!" she exclaimed. "Sure, sure! I wouldn't mind that."

Katsu's smile widened, but it easily faded. "I know this might be a bit much to be asked of by an acquaintance, but…do you think you can watch my nephew for me while my brother and I go out on a mission?" she asked. "You're the only kunoichi I know who's on maternal leave."

The Uzumaki nodded. "That'd be fine, dattebane," she said. "You're an Hatake, right?"

Said dark haired kunoichi nodded. "I am. We aren't really all that social…" she said sheepishly. But it turned into a stone cold, sorrowful face that brought a grim expression to Kushina. "My sister-in-law died last September birthing my nephew, unfortunately. Her parents left Konoha, and we have no other family-friends or anything…so…"

The Uzumaki frowned. "Oh," she said, "my sympathies."

Katsu nodded again. "Well, anyways, Sakumo-nii and I have to leave tomorrow…I'll be here with Kakashi-chan at five or six…"

"How old is he?"

"He's almost a year old," she replied. Her expression turned thoughtful. "Was born in September…so…he's eleven months."

Kushina smiled. "Not too far from Obito-chan's age," she noted. "I'm fine with it. How long will you guys be gone?"

"Predicted timing is a week," Katsu replied. "Two, at most…but you know how escorting missions can be."

"Alright," the Uzumaki said. She smiled again. "I'll be looking forward to meeting Kakashi-chan."

Katsu smiled back. She leaned backwards and crossed her arms, her dark eyes scanning the ceiling for a few moments. "I should probably mention something else about Obito's mother…" she drawled thoughtfully.

Kushina's interest was caught very quickly. "What is it dattebane?"

"…Hmm." The Hatake sighed. "After the mission. I have to get permission from Hokage-sama anyways…I'll see if I can get his consent when I turn in the report."

Kushina visibly wilted. "Damn…" she grumbled, but she shrugged it off and smiled. "Well, I guess I'll be waiting dattebane."

Katsu chuckled and stood up, walking towards the door. "I'll be taking my leave now," she said as she slipped her shoes on. "Thank you for the hospitality, Kushina."

The red head nodded and smiled in respect, opening the door and waving her good bye at the other kunoichi walked out. "No problem. I look forward to meeting your nephew," she replied.

Katsu smiled back. "Bye," she said.

And then the door closed.

"Another baby? _Really_?"

Kushina turned her head towards the hallway. She chuckled. Minato leaned against the door frame, looking like shit, wearing only a t-shirt and boxers. His usually straight and spiky hair was messy, and he had bags under his eyes. He had arrived from a mission at six in the morning earlier today, and instantly collapsed on the floor the moment he walked in.

Apparently he was deprived of sleep, pulling five all-nighters in a row to steal information from Amegakure no Sato. She looked at the clock, seeing that it was only noon.

"I'm sorry," she said sheepishly. "But it'll only be for a week or two dattebane! And besides, they're future shinobi. Might as well get acquainted with your future comrades now or never. You never know! They could be your future students, dattebane!" She laughed.

Suddenly, Minato's eyes flew wide. He undid himself from his position, pure surprise marring his features. He stared dumbly at Kushina for a few moments, and that confused the red head—mainly because she hadn't been stared at by him as such since they were nine, when he had grown the balls to tell her about his feelings.

She giggled to herself when she remembered, which brought Minato back to earth. He blinked. "K-Kushina-chan?"

"Yes…?"

"…Never mind. I'm gonna go take a nap," he stated. He turned back around and dragged himself to their bedroom. Kushina tipped her head slightly in confusion, but she followed.

He still felt uneasy.

* * *

 _The next morning, Hatake Compound…_

* * *

 _Blood. He saw blood. It was_ everywhere _. The moon was bloody red, the leaves of the trees surrounding him dripped with blood, the soil soaked with blood, the bark drizzled with streaks of it…the ground—it was like a lake of blood. There really wasn't an ending in sight._

 _Blades of battle and greenery scattered across the clearing, bodies of both comrades and enemies right beside the sharp tools._

 _One dark and haunted eye._

 _He saw it, and looked into it. The flesh surrounding the eye—blood. The iris—bloody red. Skin; blood; scars; blood; tears; blood; cloaks; blood; tendrils of the Wood Release;_ blood _._

 _The eye belonged to a boy—but the boy was gone._

 _A man took his place, bent over with the bases of his wrists resting just above his knee caps. Aged and mature facial features etched experience, and curved eyelids gave a bright happiness with the smile he sported despite the bloody environment._

 _Blonde hair framed his fairly toned face, loose locks of what once was short hair sagging. The man had two small locks of hair that were in braids, residing just above his right ear—the small black rubber bands were ones the man in the lake of blood thought held bright and happy memories._

 _The man who stood before him grinned a happy and toothy one, lips moving. However, no words were heard, and then he disappeared. But his reflection stayed in the lake of blood. His face was covered by the shine of the moon, the only significant feature being the sunny hair._

 _But that disappeared with ripples, too._

 _He turned his one eyed gaze towards the source of the disturbance._

 _However, before he could apprehend what was disturbing the bloody lake, his body compelled itself to move. He stood up, the crimson forest disappearing in crackles of silent lightning. The background turned into a cave—one he was all too familiar with. But he didn't pay it any attention._

 _His one-eyed gaze stayed on his mirrored self—the exact same features of slanted silver hair, black eyes, masked face and fairly toned skin. The copy was that of his thirteen year old self._

 _The mirrored kid version of the one-eyed man raised his right arm, twisting and flicking his wrist. In a "magical" movement, a poker card appeared in between his index and middle finger. His eyes narrowed rather smugly, his arm moving so then he could reveal the card of the Joker._

 _"Déjà vu," was all he said before the scene shifted into a round platinum cage. But the preteen didn't move, nor did he fall as his older version did._

 _Said man plummeted to the bottom, landing on his back awkwardly. Metal clattered and water splashed, but he didn't feel pain._

 _He paid it no mind. He simply just took brief notes of his surroundings, slowly standing up with a steely gaze. The world above was purely white. Black, soft lights hovered over the dark blue and green water the cage hovered over, the chain going on for eternity into the everlasting world above. It was pretty to some consent. The black things in a white space was…interesting, to say the least._

 _"Déjà Reve," the preteen Hatake_ recited _coldly—robotically._

 _The one-eyed man's eye widened when he saw the dark shape of a five year old boy being impaled in the heart by a Iwa kunoichi. The woman's black eyes were hurt and sad as she put her free hand on the boys head, ruffling black hair as he collapsed—dead within seconds, bloody navy shirt stained with red over the left side of his chest._

 _Of course, the vision faded when the snap of the chain was heard. His head snapped up towards the metal above. Said chain disintegrated, and the cage plummeted into the water._

 _Within seconds, the light around him was green. His copy had disappeared, and he was left alone in the bird-alike cage. Bubbles suddenly rose from his mask, an odd flowing deep sea green substance flowing around him like mud at the bottoms of a lake._

 _Fifty-two year old Hatake Kakashi was not amused when the substance continued to rise until it was red._

 _Blood—_

"—Kumo! Kashi-chan is still sleeping!" the hushed voice of Hatake Kakashi's half-blooded aunt, Hatake Katsu, snapped.

Unwillingly, his eleven month old baby body whined slightly as he woke up rather abruptly. Big dark and innocent dark eyes opened up, his head lifting from Hatake Sakumo's shoulder. He yawned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He was shaking—and it wasn't from the cold. Why, though, was a question he couldn't answer. All he could say was 'blood' to answer.

Katsu huffed. "It's five in the morning. He went to bed at…like, what? Midnight? One in the morning? You're gonna need a nap, mister, and your auntie refuses to let you run off of four hours of sleep," she rambled. She took him from Sakumo, who looked dumbfounded, perplexed and confused. The woman rolled her eyes, putting a blanket over Kakashi's back as he put his cheek on her shoulder.

He never knew he had an aunt…so it was only natural that he take a major interest in her. His father could wait for a little bit…really, it was only the suicidal time he was stressing about. Everything else was perfectly fine—head to toe, earth core to atmosphere. Of course, what would follow would be a mystery.

Time traveling had its perks, it seemed.

 _Well of course it does…_ he thought. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes again and falling into an easy sleep.

He was—physically—only eleven months old, and already he was stressing out.

Because he was pretty damn alone in the whole time traveling thing.

 _Joker._

* * *

Obito woke up to the feeling of being watched.

At first, he bunched up a little bit more than he probably would've liked, and the eyes of his watcher were trained—he could tell. So he played innocent child and opened his eyes tiredly, rubbing the dryness away. He yawned, rolling over in his newly bought bed and looking at the rocking chair.

A blonde bundle of hair was the first thing he noticed. And then the blue eyes, the finely tanned skin and the blue shinobi shirt of his future sensei. The tension in the man's posture and the tight expression of his face made him look constipated, and the fact that he was frowning deeply didn't help.

Obito blinked owlishly, sluggishly registering the world around him. "Nii-chan…" he murmured tiredly.

Minato smiled from his spot, leaning back into the chair. The dark expression was completely gone, replaced by the softness of the smile the young Uchiha had missed more than he thought. "I'm sorry, Obito, did I wake you?" he asked quietly.

The dark haired toddler moaned quietly, rubbing his face in to his pillow. But he was internally frowning. Minato usually used "Obi" unless the situation was serious—which only happened once, when he got bored and decided to grab the cactus on the window sill. They had gotten rid of it, but his boredom had been satisfied.

Minato stood up, the wood of the chair creaking slightly as he did so. He made his way towards the edge of Obito's bed, and he stroked the locks of dark messy hair down. He kissed the Uchiha's temple. "Go back to bed, okay?" he murmured, "…A friend will be here when you wake up. I'm sure you'll like him."

Obito could only nod. His child body was too tired at the time and he—or his internal clock, at least—was guessing that he got at least four hours of sleep. He wasn't too content with that. He rolled back onto his side, closing his heavy eyelids and drifting back to sleep.

A soft expression stretched across the blondes face. The child…the child who slept before him was so different. Too innocent, too childish, too—too out of character.

And the _whisker marks_ …

 _That_ perplexed him.

But it also intrigued him.

How did Uchiha Obito get and stay in contact with the Kyūbi for ten months whilst in the womb?

He plucked one or two hairs from the top of the boys head, turning away and walking out of the room. He closed the door quietly, heading out the door and making his way towards the hospital. It was still dark out, but there was no moon or stars. Towards the main entrance of Konoha, however, there was the distant sun light rest and pooling over the horizon.

As he walked, his thoughts drifted. He only knew one person who could make that possible—but it was impossible at the same time. His son stayed in the land of the living; Uzumaki Namikaze Naruto wasn't to be stuck in whatever the hell was going on, and he wanted it to stay that way.

Everything was wonky. Obito lived with them, had whisker marks, he and Kushina were eight years older and Katsu existed. Who she was wasn't really a concern of his, but he was still curious.

Curiosity killed the cat, though. So checking out a complete unknown right away was risky. He had just arrived, and even though this was the Pure Land, he really didn't want any chances taken. He would investigate after figuring out who Obito was related to.

* * *

The sound of a pot whistling snapped Obito awake. His eyes opened up, revealing sunlight spilling from his window. He yawned and rubbed the dryness away from his eyes as he sat up, leaving the warmth of his bed as he walked out of his room. He kept one hand dragging on the hallway's wall until he made it to the living room entrance.

The whistle of the pot was stopped. He blinked and looked at the stove, noticing that it was Minato who was at the cooking station instead of Kushina.

He blinked again. _That can't be right…_

The blonde Namikaze was almost never in the kitchen; he was always out on missions or spending time with him and Kushina, with the occasional company.

Then he heard the sound of blocks falling.

Obito looked at the source of the sound, blinking dumbly when he saw thick silver hair on top of the head of a dark-eyed baby. His skin was fairly toned, more on the pale side, and he wore a dark navy onesie. One lone freckle resided right underneath the left corner of his mouth, and instantly, the Uchiha tried not to grin in triumph.

He was looking at Hatake Kakashi as a baby.

Minato turned and glanced at the dark haired eighteen month old. "You took your time in waking up," he murmured. A smile etched his lips. "Good morning, Obi."

"Where's nee-chan?" he asked, obviously struggling with his tongue.

The baby sitting on the living room floor almost looked amused as he continued chewing on a block.

"She had to go on a mission," he replied, pouring some green tea into two cups—one a sipping cup and the other an actual cup. "Someone wanted her to go on the mission and no one else, so she won't be back for a few days."

He pouted slightly, but dropped it and walked towards the couch. The kitchen table was way too far away and he honestly didn't want to go that distance. His baby legs get tired rather easily.

He hated it.

The assumed Hatake sitting not too far away from the front of the couch babbled something almost incoherent around the block, but Obito easily identified as somewhere along the lines of " _lazy ass butt_ ". He glared at the eleven month old, accepting the cup of green tea he favored over juice.

Minato looked between the two young children, chuckling softly. "Obi, this is Kakashi. 'Kashi, this is Obito," he introduced unconditionally. "You two are going to be living together for a little bit, so play nice and no fighting. I'm going to change my shirt, okay? I'll be right back. Obi, please make sure 'Kashi doesn't hurt himself."

"Hn," Obito grunted sulkily. Nothing really changed outside of battle, it seemed.

But he hasn't known anything outside of battle for nearly two decades, so deliberately sliding back into the role wasn't going to be easy.

…Nothing was easy.

Minato almost— _almost_ —looked hopeless. He sighed, shaking his head and walking down the hallway towards his room.

Not even a second later, the fox stuffed animal was thrown at Obito, the soft stomach hitting the toddler on the head. The dark haired child rolled along with it, pulling the fox off of his face to glare at the Hatake before throwing the toy back.

His only reaction was a slight jump and blink.

He scoffed at that, continuing the peaceful enjoyment of his green tea.

But that was interrupted, again, by the exact same fox toy.

Obito scoffed again. He really hoped Katsu and Sakumo were gonna come back within the next three days, because he could never stand Kakashi that long without trying to punch the little brat on the head with no mercy.

He'd prefer to do it with a kunai, but he was trying to stay anti-violent.

The child Uchiha threw the fox back, only for it to hit his face. _Again_.

The urge to hang the little shit up by his intestines wasn't helpful.

 _So much for trying to stay anti-violent…_

* * *

 **I _guess_ this ended on a cute note. Though I guess you could say that this was the calm before the storm. Next chapter won't be so bright. I guess. Or maybe it's the chapter after that, I don't really know.**

 **I'll be honest, I only have a vague idea of the plot. I have ideas of what I can do non-canon wise, but that only happens when Obito is, like, five or six.**

 **Question: Do any of y'all know what a Déjà Reve is?**

 **Peace! :3**


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